D Day +3

Wow...I met with Sham today. My very first official day in the 12 week program! What a sobering day it was. I knew my numbers were bad but wow....they were bad. I've gained 25 pounds since my daughter was released from the hospital last May. It was a horrible year and to cope I just let myself go. I was so focused on getting her better, which is a good thing, but I didn't listen to anybody who tried to help me during that whole ordeal. I had to take care of myself. I wasn't sleeping. I wasn't eating and when I did, I ate the wrong foods. I would go out with friends to unwind and drink. I did that quite alot actually - lets be honest with myself here. And I think we all know what alcohol can do to a person. I didn't feel better afterwards, I felt worse. I ignored what the fit of my clothes were telling me, I kept putting off getting back into gear. I got comfortable in relationships when I shouldn't have. It all just snow balled. My daughter is well now, she still gets sick but she is pretty much back to herself. I have no excuses now, do I? No I don't.

No excuses.

I've made a committment to Sham, I'm going to be his best client. I can't let him down because letting him down, will ultimately be destruction for me. Why would I want to do that? I love having a good time and I know people like having a good time with me. I'm to cute to let that happen and why would I deprive people of my cuteness??? ;)

No excuses.

No excuses.

No excuses.

I had to get up very early today (5:30a). My daughter had a dental appointment. I made it early so she wouldn't have to miss school. I'm being a good mom, right? Taking care of my kids. Well I didn't eat breakfast. I dropped her off, came into work for a bit, went to pick her up...stopped by Safeway to get HER breakfast but none for me (something sound a little familiar here??), dropped her off at school, came back to work, tried to make up for lost time by getting right down to it, left to meet Sham, came back to work. But I did grab a yogurt on the way out. But I'm working late to make up for lunch so I'm right back where I started. What does that show her?

No excuses.

I don't have as busy as a weekend so I will be cooking and preparing foods for next week. It's my birthday next Thursday!

No excuses.

I'm going to bed early. Next is to cut out tv entirely (well except for Jeopardy, I need my Jeopardy!) I think when I get home - there's nothing on anyway. Mad Men doesn't start til the end of July! I can catch up on Frontline and Nova on the weekends. I have too much reading to catch up on. This will get me in a meditative state and relaxed and ready for bed.

I'm still excited! I knew this was going to be hard. I am not surprised by my numbers. Deep down I knew what they were. This will work. The numbers are only bad if I choose not to do anything about them. That's not gonna happen.

No excuses!